There's a lot of talk of going back to "normal." But what if normal isn't what we want to go back to? Normal was not working for everyone in this world so screw going back to normal! In this episode Carly talks about how going backwards to normal is not only wrong for her but wrong for society at large.
Please note, this episode has been transcribed by a computer, expect some typos!
Welcome back to another episode of consciously clueless. I'm your host, Carly, and I'll be your guide on this journey from consciousness to cluelessness and back around again. Thanks for joining me for another Sunday solo episode. Whether it's Sunday night and you're gearing up for the week, it's Monday morning, you're getting ready for work, or whatever day this podcast episode has found you. I'm really glad you're here. Before we get going into this episode's topic, I am going to read the review of the week from Apple podcasts. This review is titled consciously captivating, by Rm 1992. If you're someone who wants to learn more about important issues, this is the podcast for you. If you already know everything and don't care about him important issues. This podcast is not for you. JK. If you think you know everything and don't care about things you especially would benefit from listening. So you probably should just subscribe no matter what. Carly is a talented speaker, who's a perfect fit as a podcast hosts her vulnerability about not knowing everything, and sometimes being clueless makes it a little easier for the listener to learn something new. If you're reading this comment, take a second to subscribe to Carly's podcast right now. Thank you so much for that review. The piece I think that hits me the most is the vulnerability about sometimes being clueless making it easier for the listener to learn something new. That's exactly what I want to do with this space. So thank you so much.
So tonight, I want to talk about this phrase that keeps getting thrown around in 2020. Now there's a lot of jokes in 2020, about this year just being well, kind of a shitstorm. And for a lot of reasons it is. But there's this phrase going around about getting back to normal. And the idea of I can't wait for things to be normal, quote unquote. Now, the sociologist in me, wants to dive into how normal is subjective and is really just a thing we make up and measure on ourselves. But even that aside, I won't go into that. The idea of normal I just don't even know what that means anymore. What is normal?
A few weeks ago, I posted about how I didn't want to go back to normal for me I talked about how, for me, normal had become pretending I was fine. Trying to fix everyone and everything but me acting as if I didn't need help. forgetting to be grateful, being scared that I was too much to handle doubting my ability to change the world, or to do a lot of things for that matter. Worrying about things that just didn't move me forward. leading with control instead of leading with love. Letting opinions of others alter my inner knowing and forgetting that I am a magical goddess who is here to spread light and love and truth and step more and more into my authentic self every day. When I reread this post I made over a month ago already. It's so clear to me that this feels like an awakening. All those things are so true. The normal that I was completely shut out of was just this content. Not content, complacent, complacent space of not asking for help. I've talked about this before, but not saying I'm having a hard time. I couldn't do it. But this time has made me have to and it's done so much good. Normal had become doubting myself and my ability to do things like start a podcast But here we are. Normal had become worrying about all these things that I don't have control over. Or if I do have control over them, I didn't know how I didn't know what to do to control them.
So I would just spiral it had just become pretending I was fine. I pride myself on being a strong, independent woman. And I am. But that doesn't mean that I also can't be having a hard time. It's even hard for me to say that still, even though I know that's true. Because what I'm comfortable with is trying to help and fix everything and everyone else. Because it's so much easier than dealing with your own shit. forgetting to be grateful I was not in a space to recognize what I have. I was in the space to recognize what I didn't. That's what normal had become for me. But because of everything going on, in the last few months, I had to break out of that I physically and mentally had to my body and my mind wouldn't let me be there anymore. So I don't want to go back to normal, not what my normal had become. It wasn't a good place. It wasn't all bad. Don't get me wrong. But there are things that I was doing or patterns that I was stuck in that I think because of all these things going on in the world, I couldn't do any more. They weren't sustainable and it became clear just how unsustainable they were.
And I think that's happening for a lot of us on the individual level, things became unavoidable. We couldn't not deal with some of these things anymore. Whether it be mental health or physical health or relationships or just our own well being whatever that looks like for you. When you are suddenly working from home by yourself, it's a whole different space. When you lose your job when you are worried about paying rent, finding food, there's a lot of people who dealt with some of these things for the first time in their life. And there's a lot of people who are already dealing with those things. And this just added another layer, this 2020 so for me on an individual level, I am not going to go back to that normal. I don't want to go back to anything. I want to keep moving forward through this, even though it's hard and it's mucky. I don't feel at this point like there's no other way.
And I think that that translates to the bigger picture to to this societal level. I don't want to go back to normal on the societal level either. Look at all the amazing conversations that are happening right now in the world. I mean, on an international level, there are conversations being brought to light that have been buried. And a lot of them are conversations that people who have been marginalized have been trying to have literally for seven Trees. But something about this time about this kind of global awakening made them happen now and made them louder and made us all hear them. Those of us like myself with privilege, who don't have to hear them, we have to hear them now. So I don't want to go back to normal there either. There are so many forms of injustice being brought to light. That normal would mean going back to pretending they were fine. When I read this list of things I wrote about my normal. It translates to the bigger picture, pretending I was fine, acting as if I didn't need help. doubting the ability to change, worrying about things that didn't move me forward. These are all things that we can't do.
At a system level anymore, we can't pretend the system is fine. The system is corrupt. It doesn't benefit everybody. And that doesn't mean we have to take on this individual guilt. It means we have to rally and try to make change. We can't act as if we don't need help. We all need help doing this more than ever, because none of us have the answer. We all have to learn and grow and listen intently from other people trying to fix everything else, but not worry about what's right in front of us. That seems to track on all levels and doubting the ability to change. I finished up the book braiding sweetgrass, this morning and she talked about how easy it is and how common it is. is when we hear about her example was climate change, and issues, environmental scale, how it's so overwhelming, and so easy to hear all that, especially when you're not being directly affected. It's so easy to hear all that and be so overwhelmed that you just don't really move. You just say, wow, that sucks and you kind of move on. not focusing on how to change it. And then worrying about things that weren't going to change it and doubting the ability to do anything about it. I think that's crucial. Hearing that and saying, well, what can I do right? What can I do to work on issues of injustice in the education system or in policing or in health care or and housing? I mean, the list goes on. What can I do to help the environment? And it feels so overwhelming that we just kind of shut down because it's easier, especially when there are issues that don't affect us. And that's human. But that's the normal. I don't want to go back to where we shut down because it's too overwhelming. When I start to feel that way, that kind of overwhelming space, that oh my gosh, there's so many things to do, how am I going to fix them all? I start to try. I've started to try doing this. It's not a perfect system yet. But it does help to instead of being overwhelmed by it, be motivated by it. And be glad that I have the information.
So instead of saying I don't know what to do say oh my gosh, I'm so glad. I just learned that And now I have new information to move me forward in my life. Because if we just keep getting stuck and being overwhelmed, we won't fix anything. And we will try to go back to normal. And if you notice, there's a lot of people who say, I can't wait to go back to normal, because they have a lot of privilege. So that's what they know. But for people who are already experiencing a lot of the things that a global pandemic does, or riots and racial injustice, murders, that all of these things are brought to light. Going back to normal, it's the same. It doesn't feel any different. So I don't want to go back to normal myself. I can't, I can't, I can't go back. And I don't want us to try and go backwards. So we're just at that place where We move along just enough to get through this is feels like some sort of awakening, it feels like some sort of time where things are cracking open. And change is happening. Maybe I'm idealistic, but that's okay. I'd rather be that way and be motivated by it than anything else. It feels like a time where we cannot ignore things anymore. And that's exciting. And it's hard and it's overwhelming and it makes people upset and scared, because there's a lot of misinformation going around right now. But if you can stay grounded, and think about it, in that sense of I'm not going back to normal I'm growing. I'm not going back to normal, I'm changing.
I'm not going back to normal. I'm going to do more in this world, then it's exciting, then it feels doable, then it feels like there is a better place than going backwards. That's what I want. I want to move forward into a better place. So screw going back to normal. I'm not saying that anymore. We are waking up, we are listening. I actually have this image in my head of the world just kind of being shook like the earth is being shook, and we're all having to wake up. There's a lot of work to do. And that also means that you have to take care of yourself so you're able to do it this weekend, I rested a lot all day Saturday, and at first I felt so guilty about it. And then I realized that it was exactly what I needed and that our world measures our worth by how productive we are. And I just needed rest. And I gave into it. And today, I felt so much better after my day of rest. So take care of yourself. Listen, when you need that rest, then you can go out there and be even more badass and make the world a better place. I really believe that we are on the cusp of this change. So no going back to normal. We're not going backwards. We're going forwards together.
Thanks for listening to another episode of consciously clueless. I really love knowing that you join me here every week to connect on all these different topics. It makes my heart so happy. If You are enjoying this podcast, subscribe to wherever you're listening. And if you could do me a favor and share with your friends with your family, wherever it is on social media in an email and a text, however, you can get this into the ears of more listeners, I would so appreciate it. And if you want to really help my podcast grow and you want to be featured on it, you can leave a review on Apple podcasts and you might just be read as next week's review of the week. Have a beautiful rest of your day and I will see you in the next episode.