What Is Self-Care Really?

If you listen to some of the influencers on social media self-care may look like an expensive activity that is done once a week. But what if we thought of self-care as the little ways we take care of ourselves every day? In this episode, Carly talks about why self-care is actually much more accessible than Instagram may have you believe and why it is so crucial to do when trying to change the world.

Please note, this episode has been transcribed by a computer, expect some typos!

Carly Puch

Welcome back to another episode of Consciously Clueless. I'm your host, Carly, and I'll be your guide on this journey from consciousness to cluelessness and back around again. Before we get going into tonight's topic, I'm going to read the review of the week. This review comes from z 838. from Canada. It's titled connection, reflection. First off, your voice is soothing as hell. So I would listen to anything you had to say, real talk, you do a fabulous job at inviting the listener in to reflect and learn alongside you. Thank you for inviting us on this amazing journey of discovery, your compassion and ability to connect with others is truly unique. Keep it up. Thank you so so much for the review. Also good to know that if you're going to listen to my voice, at least this listener thinks it's somewhat soothing. It's so weird to hear your own voice. So that's good feedback. And also, I'm really glad that you feel invited on this journey with me. That's exactly how I want you to feel about self-care.

When you think of self-care, you might imagine something you've seen on Instagram, maybe it's a bubble bath, and a face mask, or vacation, or something really extravagant. The term self-care, I think, has been thrown around so much in the health and wellness space, especially on social media. But I want to talk a little bit more about like, what self-care can look like, and how it doesn't have to be exactly like Instagram. So first of all, let me say that I love myself a bubble bath. I love myself a facemask. And sometimes that is my self-care. So I'm not here to hate on baths, and clay masks, because sometimes that does feel really lovely. And sometimes that is great self-care. But that's not the only form of self-care. And for a while I imagined it like that, like all week, you just hustle, hustle, hustle. And then Sunday self-care came around, and then it was time to take care of myself. Which that doesn't make any sense.

We can't make one day a week, our self-care day. But I also didn't realize that things I was doing the rest of the week are also forms of self-care. We just don't label them like that, because they don't seem as fancy. So let me explain what I mean. If you get up in the morning, and you wash your face, and you drink some water, and you eat a nourishing breakfast, that is self-care. If you go for a walk at lunch or do some yoga after work, that is self-care. If you make sure your house is clean before you go to bed, so you wake up and everything is nice and easy. That is self-care. We are doing little things that we can label self-care, hopefully all day long. And I think re envisioning self-care in this way, made me think more about how I was really taking care of my body and my mind all the time. Not that I was just saving it for one day, if I show up to therapy every week, that is self-care. If I set boundaries, that is self-care. If I put my phone away that is self care. Sometimes self-care looks like laying in bed, watching shits Creek, and just relaxing. That can be self-care.

I don't want social media to make you think that self-care has to be expensive. It's turned into this capitalist game that you have to have all these tools and stuff for self-care. And again, don't get me wrong. I'm love bubbles and whatever else and sometimes those things are fun, but self-care doesn't have to necessarily be expensive. And it doesn't have to seem extravagant. It's really just about tuning into ourselves. Like what do I need in this moment, listening To your body and learning how to do that, that is self-care. That is a huge form of self-care, I would argue, because we don't listen to our bodies, we don't teach people, at least in our Western society, to really tap in until our bodies are screaming at us or minds are screaming at us. But self-care is learning how to listen, before it gets to that point. I want you to think of your favorite ways to take care of yourself, that you do every day, every day.

Like I said, drinking water, washing your face, nourishing your body with food, making sure you move that day. Whatever it is, what do you do every day. And then there are things that we kind of ramp up our self-care that it's special, maybe it should be special self-care Sunday or something, I need a better name. But there are moments where you really do say this is all about me. And I'm going all in I'm going to lay in my facemask in my bathrobe, I'm going to watch my favorite show, I'm going to eat my favorite vegan ice cream. This may or may not be an example, from my life. But that is extra self-care. That is like you giving yourself a treat. And if you can do that every day, or once a week, or whatever it is, that's amazing.

But don't think that self-care has to be one moment, or once a day, or once a week, or it has to be vacation or it has to be a break from your normal life. Self Care isn't a break. Self-care should be a part of your routine. Self Care isn't this extra curricular activity, self care, taking care of self should be a part of your agenda every single day in some way, shape, or form. Some days, it's more than others. Some days, we're better at taking care of ourselves than others. But it doesn't have to be this thing you wait to be rewarded for. It can be a thing you deserve every day. And I know I've said this in these solo episodes, and probably in my interviews, but is specially in 2020 self-care every day. That is what's important. It is hard to navigate some of the things going on the conversations, the environmental issues, the injustice, it's so much and it's so heavy, and it requires us to show up every day. And if we're going to show up for all these things we care about and for all the things that matter in the world every day, we also have to show up for ourselves every day, or we will not make it we will completely burn out.

I know I've hit those points where I am doing things for all these causes for work, extra stuff here and there. And it hits me often when it's those moments of the body's screaming that I have not been taking care of myself. I have not been taking care of myself, and I need to right now. And those are the moments where you learn how to maybe get the signal a little quicker. Maybe you learn to recognize a little sooner when your body's saying hey, I need some love right now. self-care should be a part of your everyday routine.

I don't want it to just be this thing you get for an hour on the weekend. Or that you work for four months, and then your self care is going on vacation. That is vacation vacation is self-care. That's great. But that is one form that is like extra special. Not the stuff we should be doing every day. And if we think about nourishing our bodies, taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, every day as self-care if we think of it in that way, we start to appreciate ourselves more and I know that sounds silly, but we start to think oh wow, I'm taking care of myself every single day. I care and love myself enough to take care of me every day. I'm really important. I'm really special. I deserve that attention and that love and care. And I'm going to do it every day. Hell yeah, I have to, we have to take care of ourselves. I know that if you're listening to this podcast, you are someone who cares about so many things in the world.

Every listener, every person that reaches out every person I connect with is such a lovely, human, I'm so thankful for this community, you are all such a caring bunch. And I want you to make sure you're taking care of yourself too. I get caught in the traps so often, of taking care of everything else before me, and I'm learning and I'm doing better than I used to. But I've had to have people stop me in my tracks. And remind me to go take care of myself. And I don't want that to be our norm. I don't want that to be how our society operates that we don't take care of ourselves until we collapse. It's not sustainable. It's not sustainable for the individual for the community, or for the global good of the world. You know, how different you are when you're tired, and you're worn out? You kind of half ass everything. That's how I am. You don't fully show up to deal with all these things. And when you're rested, when you feel like yeah, I've been taking care of myself all day. I've been nourishing my body, I drink my water. Today, I ate a great lunch. I did a 20 minute workout. You're taking care of yourself all day. You deserve that. You deserve that. That is so important.

When we're in a bad headspace, it's easy to think that we don't deserve those things. It's almost like we're punishing ourselves. It's not almost we are we're punishing ourselves because we think we don't deserve that I didn't do enough today. I didn't do what I wanted. I know I get like that if I look at my to do list, and I didn't get as much done. I can sometimes feel myself slipping into that, well, I don't deserve as much self-care. Bullshit, complete bullshit, throw that out the window. Because if I don't do those self-care practices, then I'm just going to be more worn out tomorrow. And that to do list is not going to get any more done. It's going to stay where it is. So self-care, what is self-care to you? And what self-care Do you do all day long. Think of it that way. Think of self-care as just loving yourself. And giving your body and your mind and your spirit and your soul, whatever else exactly what it needs and learning to tune into that. It's so important.

It's so so so so, so important because you deserve it. I deserve it. Even though it's hard for me to say sometimes I deserve it do we all do. So I want you to think a little differently about yourself care and if it involves bubbles, and, and masks, and whatever else Instagram shows us is self-care. That is amazing. You do you but that's not all it is. Doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to be fancy. It's really just listening to yourself. And that's really the best form of self-care there is.

Thanks for listening to another episode of consciously clueless. If you are enjoying this podcast, make sure you hit subscribe to wherever you're listening. And if you could support me on this journey, by sharing with a friend, texting it to a family member or posting on social media, whatever it is, help me get this podcast into the ears of more listeners. If you want to be read on air as a review of the week, head over to Apple podcast, leave a review and you could hear your review next week. Until next time.