Stop Making Excuses and Live Your Life

What are the excuses you tell yourself that stop you from living your absolute best life? Are you causing your own suffering and holding yourself back? We all do this once in a while but in this episode, Carly reminds us all that making excuses only holds us back from all the things we could be doing. She guides the listener through an exercise of reframing excuses into positive affirmations to help them grow and move forward.

Please note, this episode has been transcribed by a computer, expect some typos!

Carly Puch

Welcome back to another episode of consciously clueless. I'm your host, Carly, and I'll be your guide on this journey from consciousness to cluelessness and back around again. Thanks for joining me on another solo Sunday episode, whether you're listening on Sunday night, preparing for the week, or maybe it's Monday morning, and you're on your way to work, or any other day that you have found this podcast, I'm really glad you're here. Before we get started into today's topic, I'm going to read the review of the week from Apple podcast. This review comes from Jasmine be 92, all the way from Poland. Five stars, five out of five. I think this podcast is the best thing I found in months. It gave me a lot. It is great that Carly talks about really important things. Also, it's really helpful that someone honestly shares private experiences like dealing with anxiety, which is a common problem. But pretty often it's a taboo. I would like to recommend this podcast to everyone. While listening to the podcast, I feel that I don't have to be perfect, because we are only humans. Oh, Jasmine, thank you so much for that review. It truly means the world to hear that people are listening and getting out of it exactly what I put into it.

So today, I want to talk about making excuses. If you get my newsletter, I talked about this last week, but I have been thinking about it a lot. Because I have made so many excuses like we all have on why I don't do things or start things or any of that. So for example, when I wanted to start this podcast, that sneaky imposter syndrome that comes in your head and says, Who are you to do this, who's gonna listen all those questions, comes up with all these excuses. And they kept me from moving forward for quite a while. excuses like, I don't know what I'm doing, which is somewhat true still, but that's okay. Or who's going to really listen, nobody's going to care. It's not going to go anywhere, those excuses that keep you from starting the thing that you really want to do. And we all do it. This isn't a judgment, we make excuses for things all the time. Whether it be our mental health, or physical health, or a project around the house, or whatever it is. that at some point, we get to a place where we realize the excuses are just lies. They're just lies that we are creating for ourselves. Because we don't believe in ourselves.

And that may sound deep, if you're thinking about excuses you made to not paint your deck last summer, or whatever it is. But those big lies that we tell ourselves, those excuses we make for the big things in life, they're really their lies. They are ourselves getting in our own way, in order to stop us from growing and trying because we might fail. I've probably mentioned this before, because it has been so impactful and how I think about things. But when I went through my yoga teacher training, we learned about all these different paths to suffering. And we talked about how often the most well worn path is the path that we cause our own suffering. And that stuck with me. And I imagined it sometimes when I'm thinking about these things, because all of those excuses, I'm the one making them up, I'm causing my own suffering, my own anxiety, my own trepidation and starting this new thing. I'm causing my own suffering. And I think we do that so much more than we realize.

Now this isn't to say there aren't real excuses or real problems that come up when you're trying to do something or make a decision or start something I don't mean that at all. Of course life happens. But more often than not, I think it's really ourselves getting in our own way. You know, maybe it's working out a few times a week. There is always an excuse to not work out whether that means going for a walk. For Ron doing some yoga, going to the gym, whatever it is, whatever that looks like for you. We can always find excuses not to do that. But why would we? Why would we not want to fuel our bodies with some good physical activity? Or maybe it's excuses for our mental health. I was starting to feel really crappy mentally for a while before I sought help. And I came up with a lot of excuses. And I was the only one telling myself that I didn't want to go to therapy. I was somebody who helped people I didn't need help.

That's a whole topic for another solo episode. But this idea of excuses, I've just been thinking about so much. And I bet when I say that, you can think of excuses that you use in your own life, I bet you've already started to think of them. In this episode, it's only been a few minutes. You no excuses on why maybe you are scared to tell someone how you feel. Whether it's about love, or whether it's about conflict. Maybe it's excuses on why you don't want to start a podcast, because you don't know what you're doing. Or maybe it's just these small things every day. But those small excuses over and over again, lead us to big things missed in life. We miss a lot when we keep making excuses. And we don't want to miss things. Because life is crazy, right? It's 2020. We all know life is crazy. If you didn't know it before, we know now. We don't want to take any chances I'm missing something that could be great. And I don't mean that in a way that's supposed to make you feel a lot of pressure. I just mean that.

There's no time to waste. There's no time to waste at all. And that's kind of exciting. It can be overwhelming, but I want to think of it as exciting. So I want to talk about some common excuses. If you Google, what are major excuses. There are lists that pop up. And they're all so similar. It was really interesting. Here's some of the top ones. I'm too young or I'm too old. I'm not blank enough so you can fill in anything. I'm not fit enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not anything. Nobody like me never makes it. I don't have the time. Nobody will listen to me. I won't be able to change anyway. And the ultimate excuse. What's the point? What's the point? I think the I don't have the time one probably gets thrown out a lot, a lot, a lot all of these do. But the time one is a pretty critical one, I would say in our Western society, we always are talking about never having enough time to do things.

But then when I start to think about the things I do a lot time for, I definitely have the time to do all of the other things I worry about. So when I started thinking about these excuses that I make, and that others make, I've been trying to use this reframing technique that I've been using in other areas of life too, but specifically with excuses. So going back to that list that I just read, what if we reframed all of those so instead of I'm too young or old it's I am the perfect age for this or instead of I'm not complete enough or ready enough or smart enough old enough whatever it is how about I'm complete and ready What if it's nobody like me ever makes it reframe it to I will be the first to do it the excuse I don't have the time just turns into I will make time be excuse nobody will listen to me can turn into if one person listens to me that success. The excuse I won't be able to change anyway turns to I can change and grow. Me excuse what's the point? The point is to be happy. The point is to be happy and to be growing and to be surrounded by other people who are happy and growing and trying new things. That's the point. For me, at least your point may look a little different.

Now, this doesn't work instantaneously, I'm not trying to tell you that. If something in your head pops up like nobody will listen to me. I'm not saying that all you have to do is think once. If one person listens that success, maybe you do, and that's awesome. But oftentimes, it takes a lot of rewiring of that path in our brain, we might have to think that over and over again, we could tell people in our lives maybe to hold us accountable. Figure out I want you all to do this figure out what is your major excuse you make? What is the major thing that comes up? When you are trying to make an excuse? Because you're scared? Or because you're unsure? or whatever? Maybe you're lazy? on some of these things, I don't know. But what's the major excuse that comes up for you? or major excuses, I want you to write them down. Sometimes, for me, seeing them in writing makes me realize how silly they are. But then I want you to rewrite them, and what your reframe them. And I want you to talk about why those excuses don't matter. And then maybe there's someone in your life that you can be held accountable with.

So maybe it's a friend, or a partner, or a coworker that you trust. And you can say, Hey, I realized I make this excuse all the time, and I'm really trying to cut it out. If I do and you notice it? Can you help remind me that I'm reframing it to this? Because sometimes we're so trapped in that path that we don't notice it. We need this outside source at first to be reminding us, Hey, didn't you just say that excuse about not having time? And then we go yeah, that's right. I do have time, I just had to figure it out. And slowly that habit begins to change. So you realize it yourself, that self awareness grows. And when you throw out that excuse, you don't even need someone anymore to say, hey, that sounds like some bullshit that I was supposed to correct you on. You'll hear it yourself and say, Oh, you know what, nevermind. That's not true. I'm reframing that I do have the time, or I am capable. I am the right age, I am ready. People will listen, or whatever it is. We make so many excuses, and they hold us back. They hold us back from trying even small things. But they can hold us back from really big life events. The excuses, we tell ourselves, the path of suffering that we are on the most is the one we create for ourselves. And how silly is that?

There's so many other things to overcome and to work through in this society, especially if you aren't afforded privilege. So if the path is suffering you're on is when you created yourself get off of it. Because there are other things to overcome, that are already laid down. We don't need to create our own suffering on top of all of that. When you think about it, it's just silly. It's a waste of time. I want you to think really critically about those excuses that you make. And it's okay. It's okay that they were there. They served you for whatever reason, we might not know, right now, what reason they served us as, but just start to rework them. Don't judge yourself for realizing, oh my gosh, this excuse I make all the time is ridiculous. That's okay. Now you're self aware. But just start to reframe, slowly. It's not going to happen overnight. But if you can do that, you can start to realize that you're so much more capable than you give yourself credit for. We're all so much more capable than we give ourselves credit for, in some way. Maybe in some things, we're really confident and we don't make excuses. But usually there's something that all of us struggle with. Which, although that's hard to think about. It is comforting because we're all dealing with this.

We're all dealing with this idea of not being something enough or being too much of something. Whatever the excuses. We all have that thing. So I want you to find yours, identify it, and then just crush it. Blow it out of the water. Throw it away, get a new one because you absolutely deserve to do whatever those excuses are getting in the way of you deserve it. We all do. I need this reminder too. We all deserve those things that we want to achieve, no matter what excuses stand in our way.

Thanks for listening to another episode of consciously clueless. If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe to wherever you're listening to this podcast. And help me get this into the ears of more listeners. Whether that's texting a friend, sending it to a family member sharing it on social media, whatever it is a greatly appreciate your support. And if you want to be read as a review of the week, head over to Apple podcasts, leave a review and you could be read on air as a review of the week in the future. Until next time.