Stay Away From This Type of Person Online!

Nobody knows EVERYTHING and if they claim to you should run! In this episode, Carly talks about the danger of following people online who make us feel bad about ourselves and our own journeys. If a health coach talks about being able to "fix you" but doesn't talk about their own story about how they arrived at this point in life be cautious. Carly advises that ultimately you should work with and follow people who encourage you to grow and understand that you are in charge of your own life no matter what.

Please note, this episode has been transcribed by a computer, expect some typos!

Carly Puch

Welcome back to another episode of Consciously Clueless. I'm your host, Carly, and I'll be your guide on this journey from consciousness to cluelessness and back around again. I'm so glad you're here for another solo episode. Whether it's Sunday night and you're gearing up for the week. It's Monday morning and you're on your way to work, or whatever day This podcast is found you. I'm excited that you're here. Before we get going on tonight's topic, I am going to read the review of the week. This review comes from mnw. It reads "Carly is everything I want in a podcast host genuine, curious and willing to dive into deep topics while still keeping things approachable. I love the variety of the guests she has on and appreciate the more personal solo episodes To can't recommend enough." Thank you so, so much for that review. Again, it embodies exactly what I'm trying to do with this podcast. And it's really fun to hear the responses from people that they're enjoying both the episodes with guests and the personal solo episodes because both are really fun for me to do.

So today's episode, I've been thinking about this idea of the people that claim to know it all. Or people that maybe sell a service or offer something online like coaching, because they've found some magic secret. Let me explain a little bit more. Don't get me wrong. I'm a health and wellness coach. I'm a yoga instructor. I talk about mental health. on my page. I talk about a lot of things because I'm learning but there are Some places of the internet specifically, I think you see this a lot on Instagram, probably any social media platform that people claim to have the answer. people claim to have the thing that will fix you, the thing that will help you the method to fix all your problems, whatever it is. And again, I don't want to sound hypocritical because I share a lot of things that I hope help people. But there's a different vibe when it feels like someone is acting like they know it all. And so you should work with them.

My advice for you is to run in the other direction from people who want to work with you, because they claim to know everything. That's not possible. And if we reach this point where we think we know everything, I think we would Probably be able to agree that that means we really know nothing. Because if we think we can achieve this ability to get it and learn it all, I'm not saying that you don't learn or you don't advance or you don't progress or you don't go through stages where things make more sense. I'm not saying that at all. But I just have been noticing a lot lately of social media, ads and advertisements and talk in the wellness and coaching health industry specifically about people that just are experts and they know every detail and they want to tell you exactly what to do. And that really scares me, because the only reason to want to work with someone is because they're going to help you not because they're going to tell you exactly what to do because then what's the point? What's the point of learning and growing you're not really learning or growing. You're just checking off a to do list. And I think if you want to work with a health coach, and they openly talk about their processes, their low days, their things they're working through their trainings they're doing. That seems like a relationship that you're working with someone who's also doing growth. And I think at first we want to work with an expert, or that the word guru gets thrown around a lot.

But what does that even mean? And who is deciding that they are an expert? Is it them? Because really, we should all be constantly learning and growing and continuing to try to do new things that will help us in that process. So if you want to work with someone, what do you kind of look out for and I'm not trying to scare you From collaborating or finding people to work with in this field of health, or wellness or yoga, or whatever it is, from the internet, but I just want you to ask critical questions, because I think there's too many, quote unquote influencers, that use that space to call themselves an expert, merely for numbers, and for the potential to reach people. And some days, I feel like an expert in some things, but most the time I feel like I'm just sifting through it all. And I don't see that as a flaw. I don't want you to get caught working with someone who thinks they know it all. Because then if you don't do what you think you're going to be able to do, whether it's a health goal or whatever it is, you're working with someone to improve some aspect of your life. If you don't achieve it, then it's on you, right. It has nothing to do with them. Because they're supposed to be an expert, so how can it be their fault? When really, if you're working with someone, you should be co creating this change. They're there to facilitate. They're not there to do it for you. I know that this might not make sense if you haven't worked with a health and wellness coach, but it's not even working with someone specifically, if you're on social media, which if you're listening to this podcast, you probably are at some point, you may have noticed this trend of people talking about things like it is the end all be all. And like they've known it their entire lives

Like there's some vegans online that I think act like they came out of the womb vegan, and that's just statistically very rare. And so it's okay to say, this is what I did 10 years ago. It is nothing like I eat now work out now. Mentally feel now. Whatever it is. But that was a part of my journey, that's okay. But you can't become vegan or become a health coach or whatever, and not talk about all the times that that wasn't perfect for you or you didn't embody the things you do now. I don't think you should at least. And why should we trust listening to people on the internet or in a coaching situation, if they're not going to talk about how they got there. People should be all talking about the journey because we make each other feel bad when we just talk about the end game. Like I changed my diet and I changed my life. And now look at me, and only talking about what it's like now. But if we all talked a little bit more about how we got to these places of change or growth, then we would all feel like we are allowed to go through that process.

I think sometimes it feels like we're not really allowed to go through a growth process. We're just supposed to wake up and arrive there someday with this new goal or losing weight or eating differently, whatever it is. I want you to listen and grow and connect with people that are talking about the journey. I just am worried that people are being taken advantage of by people claiming to have all the answers. I have some answers. I would love to work with people about eating more plant based or working out more physical activity into their week, or connecting on mental health, or whatever it is being their yoga instructor doing Reiki on them. I love all those things. And I think that because of my training, I'm able to work on some of those things with people. But I don't have all the answers and I will never claim to. And I can only do that work because of my own work.

It's like therapy. I want to go to a therapist that is doing their own work. I don't want to go to a therapist that's never been in therapy and examine their own patterns in life. I think it's good to be able to openly talk about our journeys and what God has said today and tomorrow and the next day. So then other people feel safe too, too. So if you see people on the internet, that say they have all the answers, and they're going to help you make your life completely better in five seconds, I want you to run and I want you to not listen because it takes more work than that and I don't want you to feel bad for not having it as easy as somebody on Instagram made it seem And even though it's hard to be vulnerable, and there's a lot of back and forth on what we should use social media for in general. But I think that it's important in a boundary way, of course, to be vulnerable and to share and to use the platform's we have to connect with others who might be going through similar things because it makes a huge difference. I know I talked about connection on here, but consciously is in the title of this podcast. He had to see that coming. But I think it is crucial to our own growth, to not completely put the goals and the expectations of our life changing in the hands of someone else.

That doesn't make any sense. Why would you throw it completely to someone else, it doesn't matter what you're doing. You have to be there to you have to be a part of it. And anyone who claims you don't I Just don't want people to fall into that trap. I don't want us comparing ourselves to people's. It's like comparing ourselves to people's after photos without seeing the befores. And I just don't mean weight loss. I mean, if there were before and after of eating or mental health or physical activity, or whatever it is, it's like we see on social media, a bunch of after photos, and we don't get the story of the before. So if you're going to work with someone, I want it to be because their journey has inspired you to work with them, because you trust that their work feels connected to the work you need to do. And that feels helpful. And that feels like you can connect on that level. And it doesn't feel like they're trying to solve your problems for you. And it doesn't feel like they're trying to take control of the situation for you. They're just there to help facilitate your healing. or facilitate your journey, facilitate helping you reach the goal, or whatever it is.

I think the reason that social media can get a bad rap sometimes is because of that thing that factor the comparison issue and that comparison game that none of us will ever win. You will never win the comparison game. You just won't. You will always feel worse when you are using something to compare in a negative way. And to look at something and say, Man, I thought I was further along, but look at this person. It can be one thing to see someone's goal and say, Wow, that was really inspiring. It's inspiring to do more for me. But if you're using someone's image or someone's story online, as this place to compare your own life because you feel bad. That's not helping you. And in that vein, I read this somewhere on Instagram the other day about how we should unfollow accounts that don't make us feel good. They can be the most beautiful yoga instructor in the world. But if following their videos makes you feel bad about your practice, and it doesn't inspire you, then maybe you shouldn't look at their page. Maybe that's not helpful for your journey. Maybe you don't feel connected to that person or to their practice. It doesn't matter if you are on someone's platform or page, and you feel worse when you leave that space.

That's not someone to connect with. That's not someone that's helping you grow and change. And it doesn't mean that that's their fault. That's just where you're at right now. But that doesn't mean that you have to make yourself watch their things or read their posts or look at their pictures. It's okay to step away and say this person's account isn't very helpful for me. I did that on my Instagram and it felt really, really nice to unfollow some accounts that just weren't making me feel good. And it's not their fault. It's my own work. I don't have to follow anything that makes me feel bad. And I don't want to follow people that make me think there's this one simple answer, or they could solve all my problems because only I can do that with the help of others. But no one can do that for me. And I don't want anyone to ever claim that they can do that work for you. Because you are in charge of that you are co conspirator in your life with the universe. Help is facilitated by others. Of course, I hope sometimes for some of you that helped us facilitated by me. But you're still the one ultimately choosing and doing that work. Done. Forget that you're so capable of it. You don't need some magic one answer.

Thanks for listening to another episode of consciously clueless. If you are liking this podcast, please subscribe to wherever you're listening to this episode. And if you could help me out and continue to grow this podcast and get it into the ears of as many listeners as we can send it to a friend, text it to a family member, share it on social media, whatever it is, every time I see that I greatly appreciate it. And if you want to be read as the review of the week on this podcast, head over to Apple podcasts, leave a review, and you might just hear your review read on air next week. Until next time.