Sorry, Not Sorry - I Get Real on This Show

It can be tough to know how to mix business and social justice. In this episode Carly talks about why she wants to continue to use her platform to have hard conversations. She discusses how while she won't always get it right she will always try to talk about things with purpose. Carly hopes that everyone listening will remember how important it is to use their voice to fight for what they believe in.

Please note, this episode has been transcribed by a computer, expect some typos!

Carly Puch

Welcome back to another episode of consciously clueless. I'm your host, Carly, and I'll be your guide on this journey from cluelessness to consciousness and back around again. Thanks for joining me on another Sunday night solo episode, whether you're listening to this on Sunday getting ready for your week, maybe it's Monday morning and you're trying to find some motivation, or any other time that you're listening. I'm glad you're here.

So I wanted to talk about something that's been on my mind for a while. 2020 i think i think this every day 2020 has been a year and it's only July. And we have learned so much about the world, about each other, about injustice, about things we need to talk about things that aren't being talked about. We just there's so much coming to the surface. There's this new consciousness that's rising. I know that you all can feel it too. But what I've struggled with, as I try and grow this platform is what to talk about and how to talk about it. Because when you look in line and look at resources that tell you how to start a business or start a podcast, or marketing or whatever it is, there are often times resources tell you to keep your personal opinion separate, or don't bring politics in or talk about social justice because that takes away from your business. Or that takes away from what you're trying to do or people shouldn't necessarily know those things if you're working with them as a yoga instructor or a health coach or whatever it is. And I really struggle with that

One because I struggle with staying quiet, but too because in my mind If I'm growing a platform, I should be using it purposely. And not perfectly. I'm going to screw up. There's some interviews, I'm excited to share with you where I definitely have to own some things as I'm learning in real time. So not perfectly, but purposely. Because that's the whole goal of life is to learn and to admit, and to talk and to share and to stand up when you can. I have so much privilege in this space. I don't want to not take advantage of it. And talk about things that matter. And talk about things that are affecting people that are different from me, or affecting people that are like me. I want to use this space. I will always use my platform to talk about in justices. And when I was first starting, I really debated that, but it didn't last long. Because it came back to not feeling authentic to me. And that's what I keep talking about is this idea of authenticity. And if I'm going to be authentic, I have to talk about the things that I care about. I don't believe that we can separate politics, social justice, in justices in general, from our everyday lives. And if you can, that's pretty privileged right? To be able to turn away from the conversation means you're not dealing with it every day.

But I don't believe it's possible to separate all those things. Part of the reason I wanted to get into health coaching and learning about health and wellness is because of my belief that when we take care of ourselves individually, we are so much more ready to take care of changing the world. And while I obviously want to see individuals I work with succeed in their goals. be healthier and be happier. It also means that there's another human on the planet more prepared to make changes in other ways, because we have to feel ready. And we have to feel healthy and happy in order to help other people feel that. So for me, in this business, there's no separation of those things. They're all connected, and they're all the same. Sometimes, people have talked about how it feels more divided right now. Other times it feels like we're moving towards more solidarity than we've ever had before. But either way, I want to talk about it. Because it matters. And because I have the space to do it. So it won't always be perfect. But it's definitely going to be a part of this platform. It's definitely going to be here.

Want to talk about things that are affecting the people around us. And also talk about what we can do not just talk about what's going on, but what we can do to work towards making the world better. Because I, it's hard to have those conversations where you feel like you get dumped all of this information on you, I don't know, if you've felt this, you get all this information on everything going wrong in the world. And then the conversation is over, or the articles over or the book is over, or the documentary is over. And you're sitting in this place of, Oh, my gosh, I had no idea. But now what? And I think that that space is okay to be in for a minute or two. It's good to realize that we didn't know something and our world is expanding, our knowledge is expanding. But then it's the what do you do, and that's why I love having these conversations. with people about what they're doing, about how all of their interesting intersections in life add up to them making change in the world. That's why I love interviewing people. That's why I love talking to people. And that's why I love sharing it with all of you.

I want you to think about the last time you had a difficult conversation with someone about something that maybe you didn't see eye to eye on. I was in a training this week for work on unconscious bias. And we talked about calling people in versus calling people out. And that phrase really stuck with me. So that last conversation that you had, did you call people in or did you call people out? Let me explain. So I, for example, have historically been very good at calling people out. I am very passionate about that. Things that I believe in, and I sometimes want to call people out on their bullshit. And while that is sometimes helpful, that's not always the best route for change. calling people in means maybe having more of a conversation instead of attacking someone and telling them what they said or did was wrong, but asking them if they know why what they said or did was wrong. So calling people in instead of calling people out. I know that for a lot of people, it can feel hard to know what to share, whether it's on social media or moments of calling your family and friends out on something they said it's hard to know what to share what to say, or when is the best moment. But I really want to encourage all of you listening to use your voice, and that can look different for everyone. I know for me for a while.

I thought that the only way to stand up to things was to do it, how I did it. And that was out there and blunt and sometimes very overbearing and loud and in your face. And that tactic doesn't always work. It's good sometimes. But it doesn't always work. And when people were quieter about speaking up or doing it in different ways, I would judge that they weren't doing it right. But my understanding has grown, I was wrong. And I know that there are a lot of ways to use your voice, but you just have to make sure that you're using it. You just have to make sure you're speaking up when you can. You're not walking away from situation after situation wishing you would have said something. Now more than ever, I think it's imperative that we use our voices, even when it's really, really hard, even if it's with someone that you love and care about or if it's at work, at home, whatever it is. Because if you can use your voice, that means someone's listening. And if someone's listening, that's half the battle. To have people in our lives that want to listen to our thoughts and opinions, call people in instead of calling them out. Think about that practice, think about how you can call people in instead of calling people out a little differently. And don't get me wrong. I'm not saying calling people out on sexism or racism or classism or whatever it is, isn't the right answer. Sometimes it definitely is, but it's all contextual. And to have a conversation to really try and make someone see where you're coming from. calling them in versus calling them out can be effective. And I am not saying this as someone who has mastered it by any stretch of the imagination

I'm definitely speaking as someone who's learned Like I said, this phrase just came to me in a training this week. And that was one of the major takeaways I shared after the training was that I want to be more conscious of calling people in versus calling people out. And then I thought of this space, this podcast, my platform, my business. That's what I want to use it to the intersections of learning, and learning to thrive and be healthy and be well and make a difference. And I want to use this space to call people in. Maybe you're listening to this podcast and you're hearing things that you've never thought about before. But it is a conversation and it feels like you are a part of it. I hope that's what you're feeling. Because that's what I want to convey. calling people in versus calling people out. I want you to pause for a moment and think Have a way in your life, maybe it's a specific situation with someone. Maybe it's at work. Maybe it's with friends, maybe it's on social media with that one family member you always get into it with How can you call someone and how can you alter your course a little bit and call somebody into that conversation versus just calling them out? I want you to pause just for a moment. And think about how you can do that. I know when that question was posed to us, I had a plethora of opportunities in my mind that I've had to call people in versus calling people out that I maybe didn't do a great job with, but that is what I'm working on. And sometimes it comes after you've tired tried to call people out sometimes You realize after you've said something that may be starting a conversation would have been better. And that's okay.

Either way, either way, using your voice and making change, and standing up for what you believe in. That's what we need right now. That's what we need. I need all of you to stand up for other people. I need all of you to work on making that change. If you believe in this idea of connectedness of human beings in the world, you'll know and you'll believe and you'll think that we're all connected. So when one person is hurting, another person is hurting, and there's a lot of hurt right now. There's a lot of pain right now. And if you're a deep feeler like me, you feel it. You feel the heavy energy. But I felt a shift this weekend. I felt a shift in that energy. I don't know if it's my energy, it felt a little bigger than that it felt a little beyond me that I think we're moving towards something that consciousness is raising, because people who have been trying to tell the world for centuries of injustices are starting to be heard. We need to listen to the people that have been saying these things for so long. And use our voice the late john lewis, the beautiful man, that he was said, when you see something that is not right. Not just not fair. You have a moral obligation to say something, to do something a moral obligation We talk a lot about morality in this culture. But what if our morals were really just to speak up? To say something? What if it really was just that what could change? If we all just believe that as a baseline to support each other to believe each other? Can you imagine a difference in the world no matter what, I know that I will continue to use this space to talk about things that matter to me. And talk about things that hopefully matter to all of you. And I hope that you feel at least a little bit inspired to use your voice and be just a little bit louder.

To use your space wherever you occupy space to make change to call people in instead of calling people out, but still standing up for what's right and what you believe in. I don't have the right answer. I don't know if it's the best business choice to talk about things that I believe in, or talk politics or talk, whatever on this platform. But I can tell you that I'm always going to do it. Because I am a human being living in this world. There is no separation of that from the things that affect me and the things that affect the people in my life, and the things that affect the world that I'm living in. I hope that matters to you as much as it matters to me. And I hope that's why you're here. I hope you really love learning about all these things in one space, because I really love sharing them.

Thanks for listening to another episode of consciously clueless and for listening to me pour my heart out in this episode. Before I go, I want to read the review of the week. This review is a five star review titled honest relatable, informative, fantastic from a underscore Larson 19. Such a natural fit for Carly to start a podcast and she has done so brilliantly. I love the alternating short personal episodes with the interview episodes, easy to listen to great information and inspiration and nicely produced and branded. Thank you for sharing and keep them coming. Thank you so much for the review. It means so much to hear from all of you. I love it. If you want to be read on air as a review of the week, go to Apple podcasts leave me review. I would greatly appreciate it. Take care of yourselves. And I will see you in the next episode.