How to Truly Be Proud of Yourself

How many strings are attached to the idea of you being proud of yourself? Is it possible for you to be proud of yourself regardless of your productivity? Carly explores this and more in this week's solo episode.

Please note, this episode has been transcribed by a computer, expect some typos!

Carly Puch

Welcome back to another episode of Consciously Clueless. I'm your host, Carly. And I'll be your guide on this journey from consciousness to cluelessness and back around again. Thanks for joining me for another Sunday solo episode, whether it's Sunday night, and you're getting ready for work, Monday morning, and you're on your way, or whatever day this podcast has found you. I'm really, really glad you're here.

So tonight, I am going to dive right in, there is no time for reading a review of the week or anything like that, because this topic on my mind just came to me right before this. And I really need to get it out. I want all of you to think about being proud of yourself. Like truly being proud of yourself. What does that mean and look like to you? Think about that for a second.

Now, if you're like me, are probably like many. That thought process came with some conditions. I'm proud of myself, if I do this, I'm proud of myself, if I do that, I would be proud of myself. If I did this, I would be proud of myself. If I did that, whatever your example is. And that's good. When we accomplish something or when we tackle something, it's great to feel proud in those moments. But we have been so conditioned to only be proud of ourselves when we work within this system. In Western society, this capitalistic system that makes us think productivity is the only way to be a good human. It's the only way to feel good about yourself. If you work within that system. If you work hard, and you put in over time, and you do 14 million extracurricular activities outside of work and blobby, blah, blah, then you can be proud of yourself.

I want to talk more about the idea of being proud of ourselves on conditionally unconditionally. Nothing has to be attached to it. You woke up today, boom, that's amazing. You made it through the day, boom, amazing. You drink water today, boom, that's amazing. And the list goes on. I just am so tired of this need, that I am reworking within myself, to equate my worth with productivity. And I am the first to say that I do that all the time. I can list too many things that I'm involved in, actually made a promise to my therapist recently that I wouldn't say yes to new things outside of work. Because there's too much on my plate. And I'm teetering in that land of too much where I'm not focusing on what I need, which is very easy for me to get into. So I'm just wanting us to reject this idea of having to do all these things. And then you can be happy. And then you can be proud of yourself. But cut out all the middle bullshit. Be proud of yourself for where you're at now. And then be excited to grow and change and be even better.

But I just want to stop living in this space where it's supposed to be like this Limbo space that we can't be excited or proud of ourselves until we reach this point. Imagine the world like stick with me here. Imagine the world if everyone woke up and we're proud of themselves. We're proud of themselves for being alive are proud of themselves for making it this far. And that's not to say that you don't work on improvement and being healthier and whatever. I mean, I teach yoga and I'm a health and wellness coach. So obviously it's not that I think you shouldn't put in work to better yourself.

But I don't ever want to work with someone or coach someone or teach someone and give them the idea that they can't be perfect. Out of themselves until they've reached that health goal or until they can do the perfect headstand in yoga or whatever, I can't even do the perfect headstand in yoga. But my point is, that middle part is just a racket. being worried that you can't be proud of yourself or feeling concerned that it's too soon to get excited, just makes us not live life to the fullest. I am tired, especially as a woman in certain ways. Feel that tied to productivity. And I think for women, it's often the things outside of work that are tied to our productivity, you know, how are we managing our friendships? Are we showing up for our friends? If you're a mom, it's how are you managing your children, any of those caretaking roles that women often fall into, myself included, are tied to our productivity. And those are great things. It is great to cultivate friendships and work on them and keep them going. It is great to be a great mom, a great aunt, a great sister.

For men, it is great to be productive. I think oftentimes the stereotype for men is then they need to be productive at work, right? That is where they are forced to be a productive member of society in a different way. And gender stereotypes aside, and all of that could be a whole nother episode, if not podcasts in and of itself. We rely too much on those stereotypes still. It is 2020 It is time for that to fall away. I am tired of having to constantly remind myself I am worth more than my output. And I am still working on this one. But I am talking about this and saying it out loud because I think it makes it more true. I am proud of myself. Period.

I am proud of myself. Like truly, and deeply. I have gone through some shit. like everybody else. And I'm here. I'm recording this episode. And you're here. You're listening to this episode. Be proud of that. Be proud of yourself, I want you to take a few seconds right now and say out loud, or maybe if you're like on a bus or public transportation or whatever, and you don't want to draw too much attention. If you do, go for it. Think in your head or write it down. I am proud of myself. I am proud of myself. I'm proud of myself for being me. I am proud of myself for being here. And yes, be proud of yourself. For all the things you're doing. I am proud of myself for creating a podcast during a global pandemic. I am proud of myself for finding a way to teach yoga when everything hit and now I'm doing virtual yoga. I am proud of myself for a few of the projects I've done in my full time job lately. I am proud of myself for showing up more authentically every day for talking about my depression, for talking about my anxiety, for talking about everything. I'm proud of myself for so many things.

But also, I'm just proud of myself for showing up and for being here. That's enough. That is absolutely enough to be proud of. You should be proud of that to take a second to let that sink in. That's enough. You should be proud of that. And maybe you have a day where you didn't get done what you wanted to get done. You didn't cross off your to do list whatever it is, and maybe you're not feeling as good about your actions that day and that's okay. We have those days that's that's fine if that's every day that probably need to be shifted in your life and examined but if you have a day where you feel a little off, you can be proud of that, too. And that sounds funny, because you're like, why would I be proud of not doing what I wanted? Well, you're having the consciousness to think about it. You had the thought, at the end of the day, you know, I really would have liked to get more done. And you can shift that and say, I'm proud of myself for thinking of that. And for continuing on. I'm going to do it tomorrow. Just stay in that place of appreciation for yourself and things will be easier to do

Because we can get into that space in our head, that negative self talk, where we're talking to ourselves and saying, God, you're an idiot, I can't believe you did this. I can't believe you ate that. I can't believe you didn't work out. I can't believe you didn't finish this. Why didn't you do this? You forgot to text your friend back. You're terrible friend. You're a terrible Mom, you are terrible. And if we stay in that, all we're gonna feel like and all we're going to notice are the things that we're terrible at. We're just going to keep seeing that if that's all we think about. But if we can try, try being the operative word, it is not a perfect system. And we are trying to rewire years and years and generations of rethinking about how our systems work, and how our brain works and how we look at ourselves. But if we can try to re orientate ourselves, and stay in a place of feeling proud and thankful and appreciative for ourselves unconditionally, things will start to flow in an easier way. I guarantee it. I absolutely guarantee it. Be proud of yourself. Be proud of where you're at. Because you absolutely should be.

Thanks for listening to another episode of consciously clueless. If you're enjoying this podcast, hit subscribe, wherever you are listening. If you could help me out, get this podcast into the ears of more listeners, send it to a friend texted to a family member share on social media, make sure to tag me if you do so I can share it and save it. Whatever it is really, really helps me out. If you've been listening to this for a while and have enjoyed it. Head over to Apple podcasts and leave a review so I can read more reviews on air on my Sunday solo episodes. And if you haven't yet, head over to slash consciously Carly and see what I'm up to. Until next time.